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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey – E.L. James



FOR REAL ARE YOU SHITTING ME YES YOU MUST BE.

(Not you, dear reader.  Never you.)

Disclaimer:  The only reason I read this terrible book is because EVERYONE in my ‘hood has already read it.  If that’s not negative publicity for the suburbs, I don’t know what is.  And granted, it is sexy – I am not arguing with that.  I get it.  I do.  (But if you want sexy, read sexy that is also smart.  Like Outlander, by Diana Gabaldon.  Jamie Fraser?  Holy hell, about eleventy-gazillion times hotter than Christian Grey.  People, please.)

But, back to today’s book o’ smut. 

Here is what is not shocking, to me:

            1)  The novel’s bizarre S&M sex scenes.

2)  The fact that the book frames a dominant-submissive sexual relationship as a love story.

3)  The fact that Fifty Shades, along with the other two novels in the trilogy, presently occupy spots one, two, and three on the New York Times Bestseller List.

On the other hand. 

What is shocking is that a book that uses the phrase “sensual sexuality” actually got published.  [Weeping in despair.  Despair!]  Abandon all hope, ye who enter Fifty Shades.  Here’s another gem.  Brace yourself.

“I gaze at my mom.  She is on her fourth marriage.  Maybe she does know something about men after all.”

This is said with no irony whatsoever.

Also, an interesting factoid:  I just wiki’d the series and learned that Fifty Shades was based on a manuscript the author originally wrote as fan fiction of this esteemed novel.  Shocker.  My point?  Crap begets crap.

PEOPLE.  [stabs eyes out of head WITH SEWING SCISSORS.]

However.  This is erotica written by a woman, for women – a genre that is seemingly under-represented in contemporary fiction.  And even though the female protagonist is, well, physically abused, I wonder if there is any way to look that this as an empowering book.  (Just trying to think outside the box here.  Bear with me.)  I’m not saying that there is, but I am asking what you think.  Is this merely another terribly written book?  Or does it somehow fill a gap in women’s…uh…needs?  And in doing so, is it possible that it indirectly empowers women, making it more important than the sum of its parts?

And that is all I have to say.  Already this is too much time spent on this ridiculous book.  Especially since I’m spending valuable time here when I could be reading book two. 

Laters.

16 comments:

  1. That does it - no need for me to read, but this means yet another book series that I will be out of the loop on when hanging out with women in the hood. ):

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    1. Absolutely. You do not need to read this one; because it might kill you with its stupidity. Hunger Games & Harry Potter, on the other hand...:>).

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  2. Love your review. I agree, no need to read, especially because I have read Diana Gabaldon books! HOT and historical!

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  3. Jamie. Aaahhh. I had a pregnancy dream (i.e., a dream while I was pregnant, hence super-realistic) about Jamie once, and it was fabulous.

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  4. Shoot. I've never even HEARD of this and now I feel like I MUST read this awful erotic drivel.

    But I DID read Diana Gabaldon. And I'm still blushing now a coupla years later. So maybe I should wait until I pass 30... ;)

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    1. I will say that they are compulsively readable. Once you begin one, you won't be able to stop until you've read all three - so get ready to put your life on hold!

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  5. Just read this, and thought you might find it interesting.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/04/15/working-women-s-fantasies.html

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    1. Awesome, important article! Thanks. And I've been having trouble w/ the term "mommy porn" - totally agree about it being condescending. Ick.

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  6. LOVED Amended review! Way to go. I especially love the last paragraph. Time we started writing that novel to fulfill woman's needs is all I have to say. Way to go Friend! Hit another one out of the ball park.

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    1. Awww, thanks! And yes. We need to make some money up in here!

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  7. So, clearly you know how I feel about this book. (Hanging head in shame that I let you borrow ALL 3!!!). I agree - he is abusive and she is a mamby-pamby whiny baby. I just hate that in order to get some mommy porn up in here it can't be with a strong, smart girl. Anywhoo. Off to read the Outlander :)

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    1. Oh, enjoy! Can't wait to hear what you think of Jamie!

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  8. well, shoot, now I think I have to read this smut. I'm just going by the observation that you didn't put it down all weekend.... =) I can get over that it may not be that smart....it's got to be a step up from my US weekly.

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    1. Yep, you might have to. And you have a Kindle, right? Perfect for the anonymity required reading this!

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